Not Tonight Ladies
Not Tonight Ladies
★★★★★ 4.9 (we asked 12 people)
PREMIUM T-SHIRTS · COMFORTABLE FABRIC · FREE RETURNS · FAST SHIPPING · 30-DAY MONEY BACK
Less than 1% of customers use the money back guarantee. The other 99% just live with it.
The Take
It says Not Tonight Ladies, I'm Just Here To Get Drunk. A notice posted in advance, so nobody wastes an evening on optimism. This is not a networking event. The agenda is short, and it is liquid.
The Shirt
100% ring-spun cotton, because even your fabric should be emotionally available. Runs true to size. Printed and shipped in the USA by people who have seen things. If it arrives wrong, we make it right. That is a promise, not a vibe.
Washing Instructions
- Cold water only. Hot water is for optimists.
- Turn inside out. The design is the point of the shirt.
- Gentle detergent. This cotton is sensitive and so are you.
- First wash may bleed a little. Separate from clothes you care about.
- Air dry, or tumble low. High heat is how we get the end times we deserve.
- No bleach. No fabric softener. No ironing directly on the print. No excuses.
Shipping & Returns
Good Things Take Time (Not Too Long)
Free shipping on orders over $75. Orders ship within 3-7 business days. USPS does the rest in 2-5 days. Track it obsessively or pretend it's a surprise.
The "Something Went Wrong" Policy
Damaged, defective, or just wrong? We fix it. Full refund, no questions - that's a rare commodity these days and we're proud of it.
- 30 days from purchase
- Item unused, in the condition received
- Email support@deadseriousco.com - a human replies, probably with a joke
Policy subject to change. We'll try not to be hypocrites about it.
Questions About the Club?
Q: Where are you located?
A: US-based. Printed right here in the USA, like everything should be.
Q: Will I get a tracking number?
A: Yes. You can follow your shirt's journey. It sees more of the country than most of us.
Q: What size fits me best?
A: Check the size chart on every product page. When in doubt, size up - the apocalypse will have snacks and you'll want room.
Q: What are your shirts made of?
A: 100% cotton. No polyester. No lies.
Q: Are you a political company?
A: No. We make fun of everyone equally. It's the only fair thing left.