Under Attack

Under Attack

S / Dark Chocolate
$24.99 $34.99
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Under Attack
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Under Attack

Under Attack

$24.99 $34.99

★★★★★ 4.9 (we asked 12 people)
Size
Color

PREMIUM T-SHIRTS · COMFORTABLE FABRIC · FREE RETURNS · FAST SHIPPING · 30-DAY MONEY BACK

Less than 1% of customers use the money back guarantee. The other 99% just live with it.

You know the logo. You know the slogan. This is neither — legally speaking. "Under Attack" flips a certain performance-wear giant into a shirt for people whose only athletic activity is dodging responsibilities, and it lands harder the longer someone stares at it.

It's printed on a heavy cotton unisex tee with taped shoulders, a ribbed collar that keeps its shape, and a relaxed everyday fit in sizes S–5XL. Built for the gym, the couch, or standing suspiciously near a gym.

The right gift for the guy who owns compression gear and zero cardio history. If you get cancelled, it's on you.
Washing Instructions
  • Cold water only. Hot water is for optimists.
  • Turn inside out. The design is the point of the shirt.
  • Gentle detergent. This cotton is sensitive and so are you.
  • First wash may bleed a little. Separate from clothes you care about.
  • Air dry, or tumble low. High heat is how we get the end times we deserve.
  • No bleach. No fabric softener. No ironing directly on the print. No excuses.
Shipping & Returns

Good Things Take Time (Not Too Long)

Free shipping on orders over $75. Orders ship within 3-7 business days. USPS does the rest in 2-5 days. Track it obsessively or pretend it's a surprise.

The "Something Went Wrong" Policy

Damaged, defective, or just wrong? We fix it. Full refund, no questions - that's a rare commodity these days and we're proud of it.

  • 30 days from purchase
  • Item unused, in the condition received
  • Email support@deadseriousco.com - a human replies, probably with a joke

Policy subject to change. We'll try not to be hypocrites about it.
Questions About the Club?

Q: Where are you located?
A: US-based. Printed right here in the USA, like everything should be.

Q: Will I get a tracking number?
A: Yes. You can follow your shirt's journey. It sees more of the country than most of us.

Q: What size fits me best?
A: Check the size chart on every product page. When in doubt, size up - the apocalypse will have snacks and you'll want room.

Q: What are your shirts made of?
A: 100% cotton. No polyester. No lies.

Q: Are you a political company?
A: No. We make fun of everyone equally. It's the only fair thing left.

More Evidence of a Dying Society