7 Inches
7 Inches
★★★★★ 4.9 (we asked 12 people)
PREMIUM T-SHIRTS · COMFORTABLE FABRIC · FREE RETURNS · FAST SHIPPING · 30-DAY MONEY BACK
Less than 1% of customers use the money back guarantee. The other 99% just live with it.
7 Inches — a perfectly reasonable measurement that absolutely nobody will read innocently. This funny innuendo t-shirt says one number and lets every stranger's imagination handle the rest. Minimal design, maximum smirk.
Printed on a heavy cotton unisex tee with taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that keeps its shape wash after wash. Sizes S–5XL in multiple colors, so the joke fits everyone.
A go-to gag gift for birthdays, bachelor parties, and anyone whose confidence needs no fact-checking. Details: classic unisex fit · machine wash cold · do not iron the print. If you get cancelled, it's on you.
Product information: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Bangladesh
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean
Washing Instructions
- Cold water only. Hot water is for optimists.
- Turn inside out. The design is the point of the shirt.
- Gentle detergent. This cotton is sensitive and so are you.
- First wash may bleed a little. Separate from clothes you care about.
- Air dry, or tumble low. High heat is how we get the end times we deserve.
- No bleach. No fabric softener. No ironing directly on the print. No excuses.
Shipping & Returns
Good Things Take Time (Not Too Long)
Free shipping on orders over $75. Orders ship within 3-7 business days. USPS does the rest in 2-5 days. Track it obsessively or pretend it's a surprise.
The "Something Went Wrong" Policy
Damaged, defective, or just wrong? We fix it. Full refund, no questions - that's a rare commodity these days and we're proud of it.
- 30 days from purchase
- Item unused, in the condition received
- Email support@deadseriousco.com - a human replies, probably with a joke
Policy subject to change. We'll try not to be hypocrites about it.
Questions About the Club?
Q: Where are you located?
A: US-based. Printed right here in the USA, like everything should be.
Q: Will I get a tracking number?
A: Yes. You can follow your shirt's journey. It sees more of the country than most of us.
Q: What size fits me best?
A: Check the size chart on every product page. When in doubt, size up - the apocalypse will have snacks and you'll want room.
Q: What are your shirts made of?
A: 100% cotton. No polyester. No lies.
Q: Are you a political company?
A: No. We make fun of everyone equally. It's the only fair thing left.