Puta

Puta

S / Dark Chocolate
Sale price  $24.99 Regular price $34.99
Skip to product information
Puta

Puta

Sale price  $24.99 Regular price $34.99

★★★★★ 4.9 (we asked 12 people)

Size
Color

PREMIUM T-SHIRTS · COMFORTABLE FABRIC · FREE RETURNS · FAST SHIPPING · 30-DAY MONEY BACK

Less than 1% of customers use the money back guarantee. The other 99% just live with it.

Puta — sometimes one word in Spanish says what an entire English paragraph can't. This funny Spanish slang t-shirt is blunt, loud, and instantly understood in at least twenty countries. Wear it and let bilingual strangers decide whether to laugh or pretend they didn't see it.

Printed on a heavy cotton unisex tee with taped shoulders and a ribbed collar that keeps its shape through every wash. Sizes S–5XL in a range of colors.

A killer gag gift for friends who learned Spanish exclusively from the words you can't say on TV. Details: classic unisex fit · machine wash cold · do not iron the print. If you get cancelled, it's on you.

Washing Instructions
  • Cold water only. Hot water is for optimists.
  • Turn inside out. The design is the point of the shirt.
  • Gentle detergent. This cotton is sensitive and so are you.
  • First wash may bleed a little. Separate from clothes you care about.
  • Air dry, or tumble low. High heat is how we get the end times we deserve.
  • No bleach. No fabric softener. No ironing directly on the print. No excuses.
Shipping & Returns

Good Things Take Time (Not Too Long)

Free shipping on orders over $75. Orders ship within 3-7 business days. USPS does the rest in 2-5 days. Track it obsessively or pretend it's a surprise.

The "Something Went Wrong" Policy

Damaged, defective, or just wrong? We fix it. Full refund, no questions - that's a rare commodity these days and we're proud of it.

  • 30 days from purchase
  • Item unused, in the condition received
  • Email support@deadseriousco.com - a human replies, probably with a joke

Policy subject to change. We'll try not to be hypocrites about it.

Questions About the Club?

Q: Where are you located?
A: US-based. Printed right here in the USA, like everything should be.

Q: Will I get a tracking number?
A: Yes. You can follow your shirt's journey. It sees more of the country than most of us.

Q: What size fits me best?
A: Check the size chart on every product page. When in doubt, size up - the apocalypse will have snacks and you'll want room.

Q: What are your shirts made of?
A: 100% cotton. No polyester. No lies.

Q: Are you a political company?
A: No. We make fun of everyone equally. It's the only fair thing left.

More Evidence of a Dying Society